Why can't they all be like this?

Strength:
3-3-3-3 Power Clean

WOD:
21-15-9 reps for time of:
135 pound Clean
GHD sit-up

I can't find the picture of my time. I got 7:12 @ 65#s. I loved this WOD. It was hard and fast. I love WOD with powerlifting in it. My hip flexor was giving me problems, so for the last round I had to shorten my lever for the sit up. 

For the strength portion, I failed at 80#s, so 75# is PR. 

I'm really behind on my blog :(

For time:

5 muscle ups (transition)

245 60 pound (sumo) Deadlift, 10 reps

15 GHD Sit-ups

Sprint 50 yards

5 muscle ups (transition)

245 60 pound (sumo) Deadlift, 10 reps

15 GHD Sit-ups

Sprint 100 yards

(transition)

5 Muscle ups 

 

245 60 pound (sumo) Deadlift, 10 reps

15 GHD Sit-ups

Sprint 150 yards

(transition)

5 muscle ups

 

245 60 pound (sumo) Deadlift, 10 reps

15 GHD Sit-ups

Sprint 200 yards

Loved this WOD. Onto the next one. 

I am ready

"Mini JT"

12-9-6 reps NOT for time of:

Handstand Pushups

Ring Dips

Pushups

Rest as needed, then

"Annie"

50-40-30-20-10 reps for time of:

Double Unders

Situps

New PR by 1:02!!!!

While i'm super stoked about my PR I can't help but think if I had not messed up like 5 time during my 40 round I would have at least done a minute better... Aaaaaand, this is not to talk shit buuuuuut I should not have jumped rope next to Viola, whom was frantically/spasmatically Double Undering, which really fucked up my "calm" that I need to get into a groove. I really had to concentrate on not absorbing his energy and tune him out. 

My sit ups were lightening fast. I know that Smidty started his 50 set about 5 seconds fast than I, yet I managed to finish about 5 seconds faster than he. I didn't take a calculated rest at this point and went straight into my 40 set of DUs, and failed several times. I then took a deep breath and told myself to relax. 

Rounds 30-20 and 10 were without incident. 

So I worked out 3 days in a row and I am so sore. My body is pretty beat down. I plan to take the next couple of days, probably go a back in on Sunday. 

I'm strangely calm. I got some very good "advice" and comfort from close friends. It has me refocused and serene about what I have to do. 

Too much

I could have kept going. 20 Min WODs are interesting cause you eventually switch over to aerobic phase... And cause I've been Crossfitting for over a year and 8 months, I have decent endurance. So when 20 mins hit, I still had some fuel in my tank. I mean, with surviving WODs like "Murph" (67 mins) or Filthy Fifty (38 mins) 20 mins seems to be that middle time where your body isn't at high intensities, nor is it completely depleted. 

I think I should have made it a 12 min AMRAP and gone really hard. 

Either way, I did feel good after the wod. My arms are gonna sore. I was able to do my 15 DUs unbroken for 6 rounds out of the 11. 

An aside:

I've really really been trying to tap into all those virtues that seem to allude me, like: patience, acceptance, 

loving EVERYONE. I feel sometimes I'm being swallowed up by the crazy, little voices in my head... The ones that cause suffering. I'm trying to have a healthy relationship with my suffering. The more I resist the more I FEEL it. I've been employing deep breathing a lot lately. It's like I have to talk myself down from the ledge every FUCKIN' day.... Then rationale sets in, and I feel foolish.

Does this have to do with some deep seeded issue of inadequacy or self-loathing? It's soooo tiring. Why can't I just stay grounded in my heart all the time?

I just want to cry.

24 hours of epic

Workout of the Day 5/25/2011

Strength.
Thruster 2-2-2

Met-Con.
“Annie” – 50-40-30-20-10:
Double Unders
Sit-Ups

PR'd Annie by 2:30. Sub 10 mins!!!! yaaaahooooo!

Graduated to a wire/cable jump rope. Finally! And boy do DUs go way faster with a lighter rope. 

GOT MY FIRST STRICT PULL UP. My puny arms are getting stronger. 

The set of numbers before my time are my thrusters... Can I tell you, my 1RM is 75 and my 3RM is 70... and today when I did 2 @ 73#s it felt doable. I could have totally added more weight and went for a 2RM PR. 

Day 25 of the whole 30 and shit is finally starting to come together, make sense... I think I'm done "detoxing." I don't feel crazy and neurotic. I just wish my sleep would get in order. 

I have to admit that these gains are from my clean food intake. I don't think it perchance that I saw so many gains in such a short window. All the strict PU practice came together, all because of eating well I believe. 

I'm sooooo beat... But I have an amazing next few days lined up with a wedding, some "Top" secret stuff, reggaefest, and just plain ole good company...

Life is good. 

SaSQUATch 2.0

Overhead Squat 1-1-1-1-1

Front Squat 1-1-1-1-1

Back Squat 1-1-1-1-1

I am riding on the wings of love (only the 2 of us together flying high, on the wings of love!!!).... I am sooooo proud and happy and excited to have beat my old overhead squat PR by 10#s. Mostly because 75#s felt easy. I was sooooo tempted to attempt 80#s, but Rico suggested I don't and save it for a day when my legs are completely rested. I'd probably have to set myself up by having the bar overhead and I step into it, vs. having to jerk the bar from behind my neck, cause 75#s was pretty difficult to get overhead. 

I can't even write about my Front Squat or my Back Squat. I mean, both were valiant efforts, but no PRs. 

I really am psyched about my OH squat. Just cause I know about the the hurdles I had to get over to get to this point: flexibility, mid-stability, etc, etc... I mean, there is a picture I have on FB of me having trouble squatting the 15# bar overhead, and wondering if I'd ever be able to doing anything heavier. And, of course, knowing that 50% of the lift is all mid-line... that I've really gotten to a place where my core is truly solid and I "trust" it. If you only knew what that really means. It's crazy. I will try my best to explain to my mother how much this lift is dependent on abs; if she gets it, then she too will probably feel as I do. But maybe only her. Nate might understand, but I'm not sure how much he cares.  

Wild horses couldn't drag me away

A Rule is...

1. That which is prescribed or laid down as a guide for conduct or action
2. To control the will and actions of; to exercise authority or dominion over; to govern; to manage. 
3. To control or direct by influence, counsel, or persuasion; to guide.

Friendship...

Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

• the tendency to desire what is best for the other
• sympathy and empathy
• honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
• Mutual understanding
• Mutual compassion

Bells are ringing

Wedding bells, that is. Carla is getting married. And is pregnant. Wow. Carla wants to get married by September. Idalia and Pablo are engaged. As of last Thursday. Idalia is looking towards spring '11 for her nuptials. 

It's all soooo sudden. Maybe it's all sooo sudden to me, cause I'm not at that point in my life. Idalia said she somewhat expected it, and Carla had heard that Joey was talking of marriage to their mutual friends prior to her being pregnant.  

So all this talk of impending nuptials has sent me into my own fantasy land of IF I'll ever tie the knot. I waffle back and worth as whether or not I believe in the institution of marriage. Marriage was created in barbaric times, where in the heart of men was an imperialistic motivation. And what best way to acquire more land and things? Why to take the virgin daughter of your wealthiest neighbor, combine estates and expand. Women were bartering tools, as well as seals to continuing the bloodline. 

Marriage then evolved to become a holy sacrement to the God of your prescribed religion. Women were still regarded as property, and were subordinate to their spouses under the contract of the marriage. This tenet is still followed by the majority of the world's population.

Marriage is a ceremony to unite 2 people. I know a lot of married people who have lost themselves in their union... that just the title of being married changes their identity of how the outside world perceives them. 

I sound sooo CYNICAL, eh? I'm just playing that side of the coin NOW, as a single bachelorette-- it's mostly logic that makes me speak that way.  But I can't deny my natural instinct to be "WIFEY." Like every little girl raised in a modern, western society, the goal of getting married is engrained in us from the minute we are given a baby doll to play house with as a toddler. Then came Barbie and Ken. As a little girl,  you don't realize these childhood effects are planting in you subliminal messages of future matrimony and nesting. It is with this grooming that makes me swoon at the site of a wedding dress with a sweetheart neckline, pearl bodice and silk chiffon train. Admittedly, I do stop on the WE channel when "Platinum Weddings" is on to see how many Swarovski jewels this bride managed to jam onto the centerpiece topiaries.  And I have fantasized about the 6 tiered wedding cake, like whether I want french buttercream frosting or fondant... I can easily be pegged as a typical woman with fairy tale romances weaved in my psyche as truths. 

Now, here, today, I could really do without the spectacle... I'm easily repulsed by such pomp and circumstance. I just want what is at the core of a marriage: the love and the commitment. Marriage is to be IN agreement to be in love and committed to each other. 

My fantasy wedding has morphed into something more lush than a long white gown or a rich fluffy cake; it's an escape to a foreign land where I can experience something new with the select few who decide to follow me and my future husband there. A destination wedding. I'm not sure where that destination is just yet, I guess my mystery man and I will come to terms on that when we get to that point. 

In my mind's eye, I would get married at the base of a waterfall, standing in waist deep water; the mist of the waterfall spraying the entire party. Or, it would be on a cliff or seaside bluff, with the setting sun as the back drop, again, with only a few loved ones to witness it all. 

Bells are still clanging away in my head, but they are for my lovely friends, for whom I will be a pillar of strength and a solid resource in helping them plan the rest of their lives. 

Where I train, where I workout

I had to borrow this from Practice Crossfit's blog. To truly understand where I workout, I offer that you come and join me one day.

When your questioned about where you workout at, what do you say to explain CrossFit? Try some of these the next time someone asks.

-I train in a box. It has walls...sometimes. Sometimes we go outside. Sometimes we meet elsewhere. Its not the location I value, its the people.

-I train in an open space, because bars and my training partners fly everywhere. There is not equipment in the way, only my friends near me as we all struggle together, and are rewarded all the same.

-I train in a warehouse with no air conditioning and big garage doors. If you didn't know where it was, you would never find it. There is no sign outside. The signs of training are all inside, working, or helping one another.

-I train where advertising is sacrilege. I train where I am a walking advertisement.

-I train with people I truly enjoy, and would do anything for, not where I need to put ear phones in to block out all the annoying banter. When we go, we hear yells, trainers instructing, or loud ass music making us go even harder...not elevator bullshit. Real music.

-I train in a place where if I am negative, I will be addressed by at least one person about my stupid ass attitude, and if I am unlucky enough on that day, I may be asked to leave, and come back when Im better, because I am effecting the core by my stupid ass baggage that is meant to be burned at the door.

-I train where if I want to keep my shirt on I can....but there are no rules saying I have to. Where I train if someone disrobes to any level, wears short ass shorts, or is quasi naked after a WOD thats fine...no attention will be paid, because its all about the training, not about meat markets. If you want a pick up joint, look elsewhere.

-I train where Im valued and truly appreciate for showing up and putting forth true, real, demanding effort.

-I train where I am judged on my movements and attitude everyday. Not because my friends are assholes, because they truly want to make me better at life, and want success for me not injury. A piss poor performance means someone will care enough to help me make it better, and find out why it happened to begin with.

-I train in a place void of gossip. Rumors are unwelcome at all times and if I was stupid enough to ever spout anything negative, or even just not positive about one of my training partners, or any other training location for that matter, I would be crucified on the spot, by any and all in ear shot. Drama queens are eaten alive where I train.

-I train where everyone applauds when I do well, and I applaud for them.

-I train where justification is lucifer, and honesty is gospel. For if I lie, I only fail myself.

-I train where I am confronted everyday by food Nazis who wont allow me to eat shit and call it gold. Where I train we call bad, bad, quality, quality and everything in between sub-par. Where I train life happens, the difference is, here I have to confront my downfalls and improve not hide them away for tomorrow.

-I train to be better at life. The unknown and unknowable. To one day be able to help someone less fortunate than I. To be able to be moving on my own when I'm old and gray, not being moved.

-I train because I want the mirror to be an outward reflection of how I feel inside, which is pretty damn good, and I want it to stay that way.

-I train because laziness sickens me, and preventable disease is exactly that...preventable through effort, not medication.

-I train to be different than those before me. To go out swinging, not resting. To live valiantly, not cowardly.

-I train where the floor could double as a pool at times because people actually work hard. I don't care, that's how it should be.

-I train with football players, grandmas, kids, housewives, doctors.

 -I train with people of every walk of life, and if I cared about status...someone would make me leave.

-I train where education daily is paramount, and if I'm not a constant student, I will fail quickly.

-I train where we are all equal, because we truly are. The only thing that separates people is the attitude to believe this is true or not. The ones who believe they are better than others, are so much better....they aren't allowed to train with me.

-I train with people that make my day better.

-I train in a place where I want to be, not a place I feel I have to be.

-I train under expectations. Expectations to be better than yesterday. 

-I train in a community dedicated to the whole. The success of the many. this is the reason we all change and progress so fast. Where I train its not about "I"....its about "us"

I train....what the hell do you do?

From my BFF, Valley Crossfit Blog

CROSSFIT = SHUGYO

SHUGYO: Japanese for “Polishing one’s Spirit”.   Describes the process of unifying mind, body and spirit.  It involves challenging oneself, and developing greater awareness and harmony.  Shugyo could be also understood as the process of purification through vigorous and focused physical practice.  It is breaking out of “our comfort zone” and reaching beyond our current limits, going beyond fear, anger or the need for social approval. It is challenging our own habits. The process of  “Shugyo” creates health, freedom, confidence and greater alliance with our “true self” and with the world around us. Let’s foster the attitude of exploration and openness.    

With honest and sincere effort we can grow together and help each other “polish our spirits”, allowing Aikido to transform our lives as we work on being better human beings. 

~from http://www.aikidoofmaine.com/docs/shugyo.pdf

Blessings

I’ve been 30 years old for, oh, about 9 hours now and the desire to nest and have a baby has really gone into over drive. It wasn’t but 24 hours ago I was singing the praises of the many forms of the opposite sex. And now, the biological drive for monogamy and procreating is pulsing through my veins. I’m tired of trying to control any of it.  With modern medicine, I could have children way into my 40s. But would I want to be in my 40s with young children?  Oy.

Today is the day of my birth, the day I took my own first breath. Well, maybe not. I was born with complications; I think I was put on a respirator. I overcame a lot to be here today, says my mother. Statistically, I should have perished. 

I’m in a lovely place in my life. I’m actually at a bend in my road, but I’m excited for what ‘s to come. I don’t know what that is quite yet, but the mystery has me intrigued. I know what I want, but I’m also open to what I don’t know what I want… yet :D

So my party was fun. That’s what the attendees say. What do I think? I don’t really have a feeling about it. I’m sad that I passed out in the middle of it. I guess the shots hit me hard. And the champagne, and the rum, and the sake.  I wish I had more of my own memories and recollections. I have been piecing my night together by what others have told me. I feel really blessed that so many of my old and new friends were able to be present. I wish Carla’s “driver” didn’t get tired and she could have stayed longer, like she has done in my birthday’s past. I felt like she wanted to stay.

I’m glad Alice and Eddie had a good time. They are soooo keen.

Marissa and Cher. They are good together.

And of course new Crossft friends. What can I say? I’m so lucky. I really am. To have found true friends this “late” life.  Not every one of them has pure hearts, but they all act with good-heartedness. I’m perplexed that Patrick didn’t show up. I figure he’s going through some healing. Or he’s back with Olivia and is ashamed to share it with me since I told him my piece of mind of how I think she’s “abusing” him. You don’t break up with someone to figure out if you want to be with him or her. Maybe when you’re like in college and there are many dating options out there. Which kind of brings me to the conclusion that maybe she had another suitor in the wings. One only acts with 2 motivators: FEAR or LOVE. And she’s obviously acting in fear. I know Patrick believes he loves her (or at least loves what he knows of her) and wants to give her her chances… but I don’t feel good about how she is hot and cold with him. It’s a cycle of abuse.

If you truly, truly care about someone, you are present and available; you don’t pull away to figure it out. I was just having this conversation with C-rose.  Both of us are traditional women, with traditional values. The men lead. If a man is interested in getting to know you, he will “rise to the top;” he will seek you out, and desire your companionship.  Once the lead is established, it is then the lady’s turn to reciprocate, if it so moves her.  The dance of courtship is a complicated one. I don’t have it figured out by any means. I have my values and I’m steadfast in them.  I know my worth. I will not settle.

Zeb and I were talking about what we’re attracted to in the opposite sex, and his response was, “I don’t get to choose. I don’t know whom I’m going to be attracted to until I meet that person.” It was simple yet insightful. And he’s right.  I’ve never chosen whom I’ve had that energy with. You just lock eyes and know.  It’s an amazing phenomenon. Those feelings in the pit of your stomach, the headiness,  that floaty feeling; all the things going around you seem to blur as your attention is locked into that one person.  Your pupils dilate, your mouth opens slightly, as you catch your breath. Those feelings, chemical and biological reactions, are so strong that sometimes you can’t look into their eyes cause it’s too much.


If they look into my eyes they will betray me and reveal all that I’m feeling.

I’m still a romantic at heart. 

Dead man lifting

Deadlift 5-5-5-5-5

Cool down-

5 skin the cats

20 sit ups

115-125-135-140 PR-145(x3)PR!!!!!

Happy. Really happy. 145# was heavy. I really love heavy days. 

I pulled up the to box and saw Courtneyrose's car. Could it be? No... she works during the day. I walk into the gym and there she was. I was really happy to see her. 

CR and I were both happy to have a heavy day as we were both sore from the Mon and Tues' WODs. 

__________________________________________________________________________________

I have so much on my mind but can't settle it down enough to express it all. I need to be STILL. Breath. Relax. It will all make itself known. Everything that is happening is suppose to happen. Have faith and let go. 

Exhale.  It's going to be alright. 

It's all coming back to me now

It came true. What I put out in the universe almost a decade earlier: I finally had a savory seat mate on the plane. A man about my age, well dressed, of pleasing countenance, and fine manner-- Australian accent to boot! For once, it wasn't a morbidly obese, aged person with tuberculous lungs, and an overactive bladder. Or the other quality specimen embodied by a 6 year old boy with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder,  and Tourette''s syndrome, his favorite word being anal... It was quite refreshing really; the plane ride felt very sophisticated and adult. I'm sure it will never happen again.

Shit I lost in my recent travels: my favorite hat, 1 diamond solitaire earring (I think I'm going to reset the diamond of the present earring into a pendant), 1 sterling silver hoop earring.  I know it's just stuff. And stuff is, well, stuff, but my hat, I loved.

A moment of silence for my hat. 

Charles has left LA.  I've written so much about him and us in the past, that I've actually have run out of words. And that's ok. 

Tara got married. To Thomas Carter. She is now "Terra Cotta." The wedding was so Tara. It was perfect. 

Dominique Dona Mazzara is simply exquisite. Every part of her tiny little body was crafted by God. I am grateful that I got to experience her at this age of 1 month. 

New York was doing her best to not let me leave her (again and again, and over and over...). I drove from Boston to Shirley, NY, about 275 miles without incident. On the morning of my flight to LA, about 100 yards from the JFK exit, a car pulls in front of me and abruptly stop. I don't. Stop. You get it. No one was hurt, I made my flight. But I can't help but think of all the other times I tried to leave NY and she fiercely tried to deny me exit. Or maybe it's just Southern State Pkwy/Belt Parkway.

The Universe has surprised me again. I think my detractors got their karma, and I, in turn, have been rewarded mine. I am grateful and humble. I think I need to stop doubting that I'm the power of my Universe. 

I really want to do 75 power snatches tomorrow. I'll be working well into the evening and it's game one of the Championship series between Lake-show and old rivals the Celtics. The Lakers win out over snatching. Lakers just win. There, I've set it free into the world.. and I'm sure it will come back to me, just like all the other intentions I've put out in the Universe. 

"Let's Go Lakers!" 

Consequences

With the close of the 30 day Paleo Challenge, I think I've been over doing it with the indulgences. The past 3 days I've woken up with a bloated belly. Lethargy is a word that has become prominent in my mind. Like right now I feel really lazy. It's almost 10AM and I'm loafing around. Why do I feel guilty about it? I hardly loaf. (I like the word "loaf")

I do have 2 goals today: go through all my paperwork/mail on my desk and get rid of anything I don't need; and to do yesterday's WOD of 4 rounds of 400m run and 50 squats. I'll probably head out to the El Segundo High School track to do it. I don't have a stop watch so it won't be for time... which makes me wonder if it not timing myself will take out some urgency in my work, hmmm.

To the meat of what's on my mind... Charles leaves in about 10 days. It's pretty crazy. I know he's going through a lot of emotions about leaving. Feelings that I don't think he expected to encounter. He feels very alone, maybe a piece of him doesn't even want to go anymore. I was over at his place the other night and he seemed really lonely. I just had to pick something up and really just wanted to be in and out; when I tried to leave, he gave me this look and a slight whimper, so I stayed. I don't think he has a friends that he can really be vulnerable with except for me. I sensed his heart was heavy so I pressed him to speak his mind. Charles immediately starts crying. It moved me greatly, so I wrapped my arms around him and just let him cry as I held him.

I think it takes a lot for a man to put aside his bravado and be in a fragile state, so I was very aware of how tender I needed to be with him at that moment; to really listen and try to understand what he's battling with, to validate his emotions and lead him to make his own decisions. Every fear and apprehension he shared with me was something I expected to hear. I prophesied that he would be dealing with these emotions as he got closer to leaving about a year ago, when we started having debates about his sabbatical. I would "accuse" him of not really thinking his plan through, that he was going into it with naive eyes. Of course, Charles would be defensive and accuse of being a sheltered city girl, who lives in a capitalist bubble with no desire to know what is outside of myself. This was what we fought about constantly... rooted mainly in his arrogance that he thinks he's the only one with worldly views.

(I was telling Crose that Charles and I never fought about basic relationship pettiness, like jealousy [what's the point?], our arguments had to do with morals, ethics, world views, spirituality, right/wrong--- meaty, conscientious topics that were more theory, than anything purely concrete. I don't know what that says about us, but it I think we were more evolved and highly aware about our roles in the universe. Insightful is the word.)

I don't have any sympathies towards Charles' feelings of fear and self-doubt. I think this is a piece of humble pie that he needs to swallow.  As always I will be there to "hold him up" as his best friend, but I will not try to salve his wounds with words of comfort. My opinion is to face your emotions head on, let them wash over you, embrace the feeling and allow them to pass in their own time. It will temper your heart and soul to experience feelings of discomfort. It is necessary for growth. 


Enough about what he's going through, but what am I feeling of this transition?  As separate as I am from him and the emotions of "missing" him, I am having my own metamorphosis that will be at completion with Charles' departure. I feel that when I see him off, it will be just what I need to move on, move forward with my own life. Even though my loving/romantic feelings have waned to non-existent, there is just something that keeps me from really being open to dating other men. Maybe that Charles represents safety, comfort, kind of like "home," and that when the idea of getting to know a whole knew person, investing time and emotion, it seems all for naught--- just tiring with no guarantees. So I rely upon my "Old Yeller," Charles for my male companionship. And it's just companionship, no underlying current of sexual tension, whatsoever.... You know how I know I'd never go there, because a couple months back, I smelled him and his body chemistry just repulsed me. It's the same smell I use to bath in night-in, night-out that now every fiber in my body rejects. 


As we lead up to his venture and my liberation, I know that he desires to spend a lot of time with me. All next week he has plans for us during the day. Friday is his going away party. Saturday I leave for Boston/NY. I will be back on Tuesday... Charles even worked it out that he would stay in LA one more day to make sure he sees me one last time (he was suppose to leave that Tuesday which meant we'd miss each other). I will give him what he needs, because it is EASY to.

On June 3rd, I will awake and see if I feel any different.

Charles and I had a good run at it. On to the next one.

The agreement with myself

face value

n.

1. Apparent significance or value

I need to be more conscience of taking the actions or words of those around me at face value. Inflation of those words or actions can lead to speculation, then disappointment. 

I think some would say that I hold an unrealistic ideal of how I think people should conduct themselves. Actually the ideals I have for the people I let into my life are the same ideals I have for myself. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. 

Crossfit has introduced me to so many different people. Some that I know that I will be my friends for my entire life time (pats, suze, the disos, even matty) and some that are just passing through. But even the acquaintances have a purpose of exposing something of myself to me that I may have not known... I believe each person comes into your life carrying a tiny mirror to show you a part of your character that comes out when you interact with these people. Currently, there are a few unsavory folks in my sphere that are teaching me a lot about me. My tolerance and patience are taken to the threshold with these people. It's very revealing... and refreshing. I'm trying to make it habit to not judge uncomfortable situations-- they just ARE. 

I must not loose focus on my purpose, which is to live a life of TRUE LOVE. To act in loving-kindness. Even with those who test my will. I cannot sweat the minutia of daily pettiness. As long as I conduct myself in a way that is in loving-kindness, I will never have to fear the outcome. I will have inner peace knowing I applied love at all times. 

I think Sunday night meditation is calling me back at Agape. I need to have more moments of self-removal.

Maybe I need to donate more time at Project Angel Food, it's been since before I joined Crossfit that I've been in the kitchen. As I've been caught up in my physical well-being, I think I've sidelined my spiritual growth. 

Love Lost- Temper Trap

Our love was lost
But now we've found it
Our love was lost
And hope was gone

Our love was lost
But now we've found it
And if you flash your heart
I won't deny it
I promise

I promise

Your walls are up
Too cold to touch it
Your walls are up
Too high to climb

I know it's hard
But I can still hear it beating
So if you flash your heart
I won't mistreat it
I promise

I promise

Our love was lost
In the rubble are all the things
That you've, you've been dreaming of
Keep me in mind
When you're ready
I am here
To take you every time

Oh, our love was lost
Lost, lost, lost, lost..
Our love was lost
But now its found

Facebook Status November 30, 2009

Lauren Nicole Half way done with Crossfit On-Ramp, and I think I'm in deep. Just got home from crossfit, planning to go back in 12 hours :)

November 30, 2009 at 9:05pm · Comment · 

This day has far exceeded my expectations

"Ontario Sectional Day 1, Event 2"

As many round and reps as possible in 12 minutes of:

5 Deadlifts - 95#s

10 Pull ups w/ green band

5 Ring dips

6 rounds + 5DL + 9PU

I am really happy with my score. And at the end of 12 mins I definitely had more wind in my sails to keep going. I felt I went hard the whole 12 mins, too. 

I know that it seems far fetched that I've been on Paleo for about 10 days and I feel like that my work is getting better in the gym. I can't say indefinitely that Paleo is the reason but, it's scarily coincidental that I'm even surprising myself at my stamina, taking shorter breaks, etc., etc. 

Big news: I can do kipping pull-ups with band!!! Woohoo! I struggled for 3 months to learn how to kip. Once I learned how to kip, I had to incorporate it with a band, and for 2 months I couldn't do it. I was doing a jumping pull up, and then just this month was doing a strict pull-up with band. Now I've taken both skills and achieved a kipping pull. 

And more big news: I did 4 double unders. Not consecutively, but they were not broken by a break but by a single under between each. I really thought I would pull a Smidty and take a year to learn. Now I just have to work on getting more done in a row. 

What did I eat today?

meatloaf

apple

Hazelnut butter

1/4 spaghetti squash

Chicken Salad

Celery with Sunbutter

Tangerine

Dried Apricots

Broccoli

Chicken Salad

Paleo Banana Bread

Turkey Meatballs

Turkey marinara with Spinach

Guacamole

The Potluck/Food Inc was a success. We had a good turn out of people and food. I really like being an event planner/coordinator/facilitator for PCF, esp. if it means bringing together people I love to eat, drink and be merry. And a shout out to Thomas who hung out till 11PM (his bedtime:) when he initially wasn't planning to attend our get together. 

I'm zapped. Time for some much needed shut eye, I have a long day tomorrow with John and the crew at Dreamworks. I love John so very much. His heart is soooooo good. He has my back, and I have his. It is people  like him who renew in me my faith in human kindness and compassion. He is selfless, and with that he will be rewarded the loyalty of the good people he surrounds himself with. May I have the opportunity in the future to pass forward the generosity he has shown me. 

Sleep come to me now...