Thursday, July 07, 2011

Too much

I could have kept going. 20 Min WODs are interesting cause you eventually switch over to aerobic phase... And cause I've been Crossfitting for over a year and 8 months, I have decent endurance. So when 20 mins hit, I still had some fuel in my tank. I mean, with surviving WODs like "Murph" (67 mins) or Filthy Fifty (38 mins) 20 mins seems to be that middle time where your body isn't at high intensities, nor is it completely depleted. 

I think I should have made it a 12 min AMRAP and gone really hard. 

Either way, I did feel good after the wod. My arms are gonna sore. I was able to do my 15 DUs unbroken for 6 rounds out of the 11. 

An aside:

I've really really been trying to tap into all those virtues that seem to allude me, like: patience, acceptance, 
loving EVERYONE. I feel sometimes I'm being swallowed up by the crazy, little voices in my head... The ones that cause suffering. I'm trying to have a healthy relationship with my suffering. The more I resist the more I FEEL it. I've been employing deep breathing a lot lately. It's like I have to talk myself down from the ledge every FUCKIN' day.... Then rationale sets in, and I feel foolish.

Does this have to do with some deep seeded issue of inadequacy or self-loathing? It's soooo tiring. Why can't I just stay grounded in my heart all the time?

I just want to cry.

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