Too much

I could have kept going. 20 Min WODs are interesting cause you eventually switch over to aerobic phase... And cause I've been Crossfitting for over a year and 8 months, I have decent endurance. So when 20 mins hit, I still had some fuel in my tank. I mean, with surviving WODs like "Murph" (67 mins) or Filthy Fifty (38 mins) 20 mins seems to be that middle time where your body isn't at high intensities, nor is it completely depleted. 

I think I should have made it a 12 min AMRAP and gone really hard. 

Either way, I did feel good after the wod. My arms are gonna sore. I was able to do my 15 DUs unbroken for 6 rounds out of the 11. 

An aside:

I've really really been trying to tap into all those virtues that seem to allude me, like: patience, acceptance, 

loving EVERYONE. I feel sometimes I'm being swallowed up by the crazy, little voices in my head... The ones that cause suffering. I'm trying to have a healthy relationship with my suffering. The more I resist the more I FEEL it. I've been employing deep breathing a lot lately. It's like I have to talk myself down from the ledge every FUCKIN' day.... Then rationale sets in, and I feel foolish.

Does this have to do with some deep seeded issue of inadequacy or self-loathing? It's soooo tiring. Why can't I just stay grounded in my heart all the time?

I just want to cry.

Focused, yet distracted

Behind the neck Jerk 1-1-1-1-1-1-1

I wasn't confident. That's why I failed. I think I was scared. I C&J 75#s, so I know it was my head that got in the way of a successful lift. Commitment issues. As well, all I could see was Arbel breaking his foot on a Jerk attempt at the NLP. 

I haven't been feeling well the past few days. My tummy been acting up. I did have a decadent meal of pasta carbonara that I made--- it was delicious. But I haven't eaten wheat/gluten in a loooong time, so I think I shocked my digestive system. I got to the box today and felt nauseous. I had those burps that you get when you dry-heave. We did a running warm up that I didn't abhor, surprisingly. And it turns out that I have perfect cadence. My short little legs finally are doing something right. 

Tomorrow, I have an interview that could change the direction of my professional path in the direction I've desired since I got into produce. I want to go to bed early so that I am rested. 

If can wake up early enough, maybe make it to the box in the morning. Teach my CF class at 11:30 at the park, then jam over to my interview. Then if God wills it, make it back in time to attend the Oly Lifting Class. HOpe to stay for Open gym and do the WOD for Sunday: 7 Rounds of 10 wall ball-10 pull ups. 

What a lovely day Tuesday is going to be, I can just feel it :)

Back in my own bed

Three rounds for time of:

50 Double-unders

25 Wallball "2-fer-1s", 20 pound ball

MY SCALE:

MY TIME:

I chose to scale way back just for the reason that I've been away from the box for over 10 days, that I battled a crazy sickness for almost 2 weeks, and because of that my diet has been not been clean.

I'm already sore. My adductor muscles are definitely tight. The 2 for 1 Wall Ball is trip. It's kind of scary from reason.

I've decided to go to 3 on/1 off training schedule. I'm excited to see what kind of gains I'll see in my game. I know that Zeb said that after he followed the main site schedule and programming he gained 5#s of muscle. I'm excited to see what's to come. Tomorrow, even though it's a "rest day," I do plan to go into the box to work on my some weaknesses. I think my unassisted pull up takes precedence over chaining my double unders together. And then maybe I'll work trying to get upside down... MAYBE.

It came in the mail, yay! I cannot wait to pore over it:

More is.... MORE!

Complete as many rounds as possible in seven minutes of:

7 Deadlifts

20 meter Sprint

14 One legged squats

21 Double-unders

20 meter Sprint

I'm stoked. I know I should base my personal gains by comparing myself to what others put on the board, but isn't that the point of the board? Por ejemplo, I think that Jaime is way more advanced than me in many areas, and I exceeded her score... Granted, I don't know how she scaled the WOD, but knowing I got more work done in the same amount of time makes me feel good that I could keep with someone I feel is farther along in her fitness journey. 

I did 105#s (which I wanted to do more, but Zeb told me to take easy) and I used a small box to do my pistols. The box was beneath my butt to catch me if I fell, which I did. From the seated position I still had to extend one leg out and stand straight up off of one leg; it was difficult. Double Unders are definitely my nemesis--- for now! I'm still doing that extra hop between each DU. G thinks it's now ingrained in my brain, like I've made a neurological pathway that now has to be broken and taught to do a DU w/o the hop. If I had DUs down I'd have easily 4 rounds in 7 mins for this WOD. 

Today was a good day, not just in the box, but also at Dreamworks. I was called in to do a catering. I love the crew there. I think I say that every time I finish a shift. It's not work. John really wants to go to Animal in the next week or so. Excited about that. And he has a job lead that is temporary; an independent QA inspector whom runs her consult business was hired by Kaiser Hospital to do an overhaul of their facility.  Tomorrow I've got to shoot my resume over to him to forward to the DM. 

Plus, I have to haul ass to San Gabriel Valley to murder a guy named Steve, who may have cost me several thousand dollars in earnings in my stock portfolio. Like really. I've fired that entire office. There is a way to rectify the offices boo-boo hopefully... I don't want to think about it cause it will get me all hot and bothered. *Serenity now, serenity now, serenity now* Ahhh. 

Time to think of nothing. 

Blessings

I’ve been 30 years old for, oh, about 9 hours now and the desire to nest and have a baby has really gone into over drive. It wasn’t but 24 hours ago I was singing the praises of the many forms of the opposite sex. And now, the biological drive for monogamy and procreating is pulsing through my veins. I’m tired of trying to control any of it.  With modern medicine, I could have children way into my 40s. But would I want to be in my 40s with young children?  Oy.

Today is the day of my birth, the day I took my own first breath. Well, maybe not. I was born with complications; I think I was put on a respirator. I overcame a lot to be here today, says my mother. Statistically, I should have perished. 

I’m in a lovely place in my life. I’m actually at a bend in my road, but I’m excited for what ‘s to come. I don’t know what that is quite yet, but the mystery has me intrigued. I know what I want, but I’m also open to what I don’t know what I want… yet :D

So my party was fun. That’s what the attendees say. What do I think? I don’t really have a feeling about it. I’m sad that I passed out in the middle of it. I guess the shots hit me hard. And the champagne, and the rum, and the sake.  I wish I had more of my own memories and recollections. I have been piecing my night together by what others have told me. I feel really blessed that so many of my old and new friends were able to be present. I wish Carla’s “driver” didn’t get tired and she could have stayed longer, like she has done in my birthday’s past. I felt like she wanted to stay.

I’m glad Alice and Eddie had a good time. They are soooo keen.

Marissa and Cher. They are good together.

And of course new Crossft friends. What can I say? I’m so lucky. I really am. To have found true friends this “late” life.  Not every one of them has pure hearts, but they all act with good-heartedness. I’m perplexed that Patrick didn’t show up. I figure he’s going through some healing. Or he’s back with Olivia and is ashamed to share it with me since I told him my piece of mind of how I think she’s “abusing” him. You don’t break up with someone to figure out if you want to be with him or her. Maybe when you’re like in college and there are many dating options out there. Which kind of brings me to the conclusion that maybe she had another suitor in the wings. One only acts with 2 motivators: FEAR or LOVE. And she’s obviously acting in fear. I know Patrick believes he loves her (or at least loves what he knows of her) and wants to give her her chances… but I don’t feel good about how she is hot and cold with him. It’s a cycle of abuse.

If you truly, truly care about someone, you are present and available; you don’t pull away to figure it out. I was just having this conversation with C-rose.  Both of us are traditional women, with traditional values. The men lead. If a man is interested in getting to know you, he will “rise to the top;” he will seek you out, and desire your companionship.  Once the lead is established, it is then the lady’s turn to reciprocate, if it so moves her.  The dance of courtship is a complicated one. I don’t have it figured out by any means. I have my values and I’m steadfast in them.  I know my worth. I will not settle.

Zeb and I were talking about what we’re attracted to in the opposite sex, and his response was, “I don’t get to choose. I don’t know whom I’m going to be attracted to until I meet that person.” It was simple yet insightful. And he’s right.  I’ve never chosen whom I’ve had that energy with. You just lock eyes and know.  It’s an amazing phenomenon. Those feelings in the pit of your stomach, the headiness,  that floaty feeling; all the things going around you seem to blur as your attention is locked into that one person.  Your pupils dilate, your mouth opens slightly, as you catch your breath. Those feelings, chemical and biological reactions, are so strong that sometimes you can’t look into their eyes cause it’s too much.


If they look into my eyes they will betray me and reveal all that I’m feeling.

I’m still a romantic at heart. 

Dead man lifting

Deadlift 5-5-5-5-5

Cool down-

5 skin the cats

20 sit ups

115-125-135-140 PR-145(x3)PR!!!!!

Happy. Really happy. 145# was heavy. I really love heavy days. 

I pulled up the to box and saw Courtneyrose's car. Could it be? No... she works during the day. I walk into the gym and there she was. I was really happy to see her. 

CR and I were both happy to have a heavy day as we were both sore from the Mon and Tues' WODs. 

__________________________________________________________________________________

I have so much on my mind but can't settle it down enough to express it all. I need to be STILL. Breath. Relax. It will all make itself known. Everything that is happening is suppose to happen. Have faith and let go. 

Exhale.  It's going to be alright. 

Love Lost- Temper Trap

Our love was lost
But now we've found it
Our love was lost
And hope was gone

Our love was lost
But now we've found it
And if you flash your heart
I won't deny it
I promise

I promise

Your walls are up
Too cold to touch it
Your walls are up
Too high to climb

I know it's hard
But I can still hear it beating
So if you flash your heart
I won't mistreat it
I promise

I promise

Our love was lost
In the rubble are all the things
That you've, you've been dreaming of
Keep me in mind
When you're ready
I am here
To take you every time

Oh, our love was lost
Lost, lost, lost, lost..
Our love was lost
But now its found