Monday, August 08, 2011

But the Tigers come at night... as they tear your hope apart.

Complete as many rounds and reps as possible in 8 minutes of:

20 Weighted Walking Lunges (75/55)

40 Double-Unders

I had a crazy double under break through today. 50 DUs were part of the warm up. I started to jump and got in this rhythm... I felt calm, my entire body was relaxed and my breathing was controlled... I was approaching 50 and I thought, "should I stop?" I didn't. I lasted until 64, which is the highest number of DUs that I've ever strung together. I was super happy. 

Rounds 3 and 4 I was able to get 39 straight, and in the 5th round I did 40 straight. I'm super pleased with myself.

This is the first high intensity WOD i've done in 2 weeks. I felt good, no pain in the hip. Afterwards, I was really knocked on my ass by the post workout drunkenness. The euphoria felt like a stranger, so I got a bit of anxiety. I took my Post WOD shake to go cause I couldn't be around people at that moment. 

I've missed the intensity.

I've been dishonest. I've been lying to myself and to you. I haven't been a good friend. I'm so sorry. I feel horrible. I don't know how to make it right. I want to be honest and open, but I'm afraid. It 's eating me up inside. I'm not at peace at all. It's starting to cloud my judgement, make me act in fear, think vindictive thoughts. I feel ashamed that it's gotten to this point. When it's all so simple. My heart has been so heavy; it's not a good way to live. I feel like a hypocrite expounding the tenets of loving-kindness when I haven't been loving nor kind to myself. I want to get through this, forge on, become a stronger, more loving person. This is my intention. Universe hear my cries. 

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